Wind and Fire Accident

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

So often the difference from where we are, and where God wants us to be, is the pain we aren't wiling to endure to get there. - Craig Groeschel

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale