Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

The gods play games with men as balls. - Titus Maccius Plautus

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau

A babysitter should at least be out of puberous. - Archie Bunker

Though you break your heart, men will go on as before. - Marcus Aurelius

Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. - French Proverb

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp

They are happy men whose natures sort with their vocations. - Francis Bacon

Strong beliefs win strong men, and then make them stronger. - Walter Bagehot

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Truly intelligent men know better than to take themselves too seriously. - Unknown

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. - Bertrand Russell

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. - Plato

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

I learned at an early age that if you are nice to men, you can get anything you want from them. - Natalie Wood

Being the boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so. - Robert Frost

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth - even if it costs him his job. - Samuel Goldwyn

Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only is they are determined to be so. - Charles de Gaulle

The greatest men sometimes overshoot themselves, but then their very mistakes are so many lessons of instruction. - Tom Browne

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. - Winston Churchill

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway