Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

No nice men are good at getting taxis. - Katharine Whitehorn

Free men do not ask permission to bear arms. - Thomas Jefferson

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unknown

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses. - Dorothy Parker

Do not pray for easier lives. Pray to be stronger men. - John F Kennedy

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

I can calculate the movement of the stars, but not the madness of men. - Sir Isaac Newton

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. - Bertrand Russell

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse." - Francois Morency

Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat. - Will Rogers

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

Men must be taught as if you taught them not,
And things unknown proposed as things forgot. - Alexander Pope

How good we are as preachers depends - not altogether, but primarily - on how good we are as men. - John Knox

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men. - Norman MacDonald

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not? - George Bernard Shaw

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide