When A Canadian Guy Plans The Wedding

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf