When A Canadian Guy Plans The Wedding

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst