When A Canadian Guy Plans The Wedding

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde