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Wannabe Van

How to speed up a slow van

Wannabe Van thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Greyhound Trainer: A race cur driver - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage - Herbert Hoover

Traffic Ticket: Finale of the policeman's bawl - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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