Redneck Palm Pilot

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco