Redneck Palm Pilot

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster