#1 humor site on the 'net

Puppy Special

Chinese food customer deals

Puppy Special thanks to Ron Fong

QuotaBills
Special kind of stanima - Archie Bunker

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Let every one ascertain his special business and calling, and then stick to it if he wants to be successful. - Benjamin Franklin

Leadership is the special quality which enables people to stand up and pull the rest of us over the horizon. - James L Fisher

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. - Unknown

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

A diamond doesn't start out polished and shining. It once was nothing special, but with enough pressure and time, becomes spectacular. - Solange Nicole

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway