QuotaBillsSo much work, so few women to do it. - Unknown
Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs. - Noel Coward
All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields
Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise. - Unknown
It is much easier to take care of a sackful of fleas than a woman. - German Proverb
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard
There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite
No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin
Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker
Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland
Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher
I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren
Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian
I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett