Granny Fanny Sues Bank

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

I can hold a note as long as the Chase Manhattan Bank. - Ethel Merman

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

What's breaking into a bank compared with founding a bank? - Bertolt Brecht

Most of us spend out lives as if we have another one in the bank. - Ben Irwin

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

There should be no bank too big to fail but no individual too big to jail. - Hillary Clinton

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem. - J Paul Getty

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant