French Kissing - Wise Advice

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Kissing don't last; cookery do! - George Meredith

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

A kiss is a rosy dot over the "i" of loving. - Cyrano de Bergerac

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. - Chico Marx

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Boy, those French. They have a different world for everything! - Steve Martin

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The happiness of life is made up of the little charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. - Christian Nestell Bovee

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia