French Kissing - Wise Advice

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

A kiss is a rosy dot over the "i" of loving. - Cyrano de Bergerac

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

To understand Europe, you have to be a genius - or French. - Madeleine Albright

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. - Rupert Brooke

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. - Christian Nestell Bovee

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia