#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Dog

Loving family needed for pet dog

My neighbour is looking for a good home for their dog. He said it's really loveable and friendly with the kids, but his wife said the dog makes her nervous when it stares at her. She wants it out of the house. If you know of anyone, let me know. Picture attached of free dog.
Free Dog thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Free contradictions: $1. - Unknown

Thank God for a few free waves. - Miki Dora

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

When I discover who I am, I'll be free. - Ralph Ellison

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. - Charles Dickens

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free. - Aristotle

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

There is no more expensive thing than a free gift. - Michel de Montaigne

They are not free who drag their chains after them. - French Proverb

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. - Groucho Marx

Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

When you explore your fears then you set yourself free. - Stephen Richards

Nothing really sets human nature free but self-control. - Paul Bottome

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Laws, like spider webs, catch flies and let hawks go free. - Spanish Proverb

Free love is a black and white contradiction in two words. - G K Chesterton

Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace. - Buddha

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. - Eric Hoffer

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. - Lewis B Smedes

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

When I die I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often. - Unknown

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion. - James Reston

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. - Richard Bach

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. - Edmund Burke

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Our character is but the stamp on our souls of the free choices of good and evil we have made through life. - John C. Geikie

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

Remember that to change your mind and follow him who sets you right is to be none the less free than you were before. - Marcus Aurelius

Adversity is the state in which man mostly easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then. - John Wooden

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your existence itself is an act of rebellion. - Albert Camus

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough. - Franklin D Roosevelt

One should be free to give the fullest expression to his disaffection so long as he does not contemplate, promote, or incite violence. - Mohandas Gandhi

It reminds me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free. - Veronica Roth

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Trudeau's Top Fails

Bathtub Opulence

Anger Release Machine

Inbread Cat

Madness in London

Crotch Rocket

Too Late Sign

Smart Car Security

Motorcycle Texting

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Fresh Out Of The Saddle

Monsoon TV

Radio Shack Closes Down

DIRK

Karate Sign Kick

Evel Knievel Tickets

LiverPool

Romanian Barbeque

Mexican Starfish

On Top Of Things

Beer Chess

The Art of Cropping

Copycat Pilot

Hungry For Justice