#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Dog

Loving family needed for pet dog

My neighbour is looking for a good home for their dog. He said it's really loveable and friendly with the kids, but his wife said the dog makes her nervous when it stares at her. She wants it out of the house. If you know of anyone, let me know. Picture attached of free dog.
Free Dog thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Man is condemned to be free. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Let us be free. The rest matters not! - Jose de San Martin

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. - Chinese Proverb

There is no more expensive thing than a free gift. - Michel de Montaigne

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Words are free. It's how you use them that may cost you. - Unknown

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. - John 8:32

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips. - Unknown

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Only you know who you were born to be and you need to free that person. - Ruby Rose

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

It's what you do in your free time that will set you free - or enslave you.
 - Jarod Kintz

The more you hold on to the true and the good, the more you are free to really live. - Ravi Zacharias

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

When I die I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often. - Unknown

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion. - James Reston

If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes. - Chuck Palahniuk

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge. - Groucho Marx

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If we don't believe in free expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all. - Noah Chomsky

We want to feel free, yet are scared to muster the courage to do what's necessary to become free. - Kathy Caprino

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free. - Pearl S Buck

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

One should be free to give the fullest expression to his disaffection so long as he does not contemplate, promote, or incite violence. - Mohandas Gandhi

I believe there's an Almighty, and I believe the Almighty's great gift to each man and woman in this world is the desire to be free. - George W Bush

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


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