#1 humor site on the 'net

Flornithology

How to tell the Birds from the Flowers

Flornithology thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

Flornithology thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

Every flower must grow through dirt. - Unknown

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

Goose: A bird that supplies quills for writing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. - Henri Matisse

A single rose can be my garden; a single friend, my world. - Leo Buscaglia

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing. - Albert Laighton

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

And 'tis my faith, that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes. - William Wordsworth

Autumn is mellower, and what we lost in flowers, we more than gain in fruits. - Samuel Butler

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

The only amaranthine flower on earth is virtue; the only lasting treasure, truth. - William Cowper

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. - Abraham Lincoln

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. - Jose L Borges

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

You cannot endow even the best machine with initiative; the jolliest steamroller will not plant flowers. - Walter Lippmann

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

Vacation Time: That period when the flowers in the home garden are at their best and only the neighbours are around to enjoy them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger