Extreme Soccer

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Mountains aren't just funny. They are hill areas. - Unknown

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles M Shulz

Marathon Runner: A person who is happy to be over the hill - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend. - Mark Twain

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Trouble, like the hill ahead, straightens out when you advance upon it. - Marcelene Cox

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

You can't help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself. - H. Norman Schwarzkopf

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. - Nelson Mandela

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy