Extreme Soccer

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Mountains aren't just funny. They are hill areas. - Unknown

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend. - Mark Twain

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Trouble, like the hill ahead, straightens out when you advance upon it. - Marcelene Cox

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

You can't help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself. - H. Norman Schwarzkopf

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. - Nelson Mandela

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

A great many people seem to end up over the hill without ever having actually climbed it. - Unknown

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. - Casablanca

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy