Cheating Husband

Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper. - Taylor J Reid

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. - John Barrymore

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws. - Mayer A. Rothschild

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman