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Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Making suppository remarks about our country. - Archie Bunker

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Co-Operation: An exchange between a woman and a man in which she coos and he operates - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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