Wrong Nuts

I hope they bury me near a strait man. - Groucho Marx

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. - Phyllis Diller

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. - Kin Hubbard

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. - Henry David Thoreau

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. - Leo Rosten

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

Many people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five. - Benjamin Franklin

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want that they should bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass. - Bobby Knight

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash