Only In Texas

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne. - Marcus Aurelius

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams