#1 humor site on the 'net

Only In Texas

They do things differently in Texas

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

QuotaBills
Mayor: A he-horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Install: Where you keep your horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Installment: Putting a horse in his stall - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud


Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs

Home Made Limo

Cool Reading Room