Only In Texas

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams