#1 humor site on the 'net

Only In Texas

They do things differently in Texas

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein


Fence Sitter

New College Game Show

Hands On Tree

Road Shortcut

Running Tears

Swingers

Bird Cam

Parent Signature

Bread Additive

Dates For Everyone

Tree of Dreams

Temporarily Insane Boat Ride

Exit Door

Handicap Motorcyclist

New Canada Bill

Staff Teeth

Funnel Farm

Buffalo Prod

Meat Pie

Where Nobody Speeds

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View

Good Conductor

Kelp Us!