Only In Texas

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams