#1 humor site on the 'net

Spamdex Pork Shorts

From the inventors of Spam-a-Lot

Spamdex Pork Shorts thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears. - Unknown

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Great Quotes (B)

Wayne's Fish

If You're Happy And You Know It

Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts