#1 humor site on the 'net

Spamdex Pork Shorts

From the inventors of Spam-a-Lot

Spamdex Pork Shorts thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Apprentice Auto Body Shop

Moving Level Pro

Redneck Muffler Repair

Eggsellent Bike

Prairie Bear

Clinton Greeting

Halloween Flashers

Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds

Kid Disposal

Motorvation

Electric Football

Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog

Halloween Lamp

Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche