#1 humor site on the 'net

Real Iron Man Competition

Where preparation is half the battle

Real Iron Man Competition thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
A clever man commits no minor blunders. - Goethe

Wise is the man who knows he has enough. - Unknown

No man is a failure who is enjoying life. - William Feather

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

No man is free who is not a master of himself. - Epictetus

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

A man is not old as long as he is seeking something. - Jean Rostand

Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth. - Mahalia Jackson

That man is truly good who knows his own dark places. - Beowulf

I want men who will support me when I am in the wrong. - Lord Melbourne

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

You, a man of the cloth, hidin' behind your hassock. - Archie Bunker

I was born a slave, but nature gave me a soul of a free man. - Toussaint Louverture

The first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell. - Andrew Carnegie

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. - Kathy Lette

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. - Aristotle

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself. - Anthony Trollope

It is infinitely better to have a few good men than many indifferent ones. - George Washington

If you need something done ask a busy man, no one else will have time to do it. - Unknown

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. - Mark Twain

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place... a man is lucky to get out of it alive. - WC Fields

There is no reason why the same man should like the same book at eighteen and at forty-eight. - Ezra Pound

Noel Coward: "Edna, you almost look like a man."
Ferber: "So do you." - Edna Ferber

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

It is with books as with men: a very small number play a great part, the rest are lost in the multitude. - Voltaire

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

If you ever find a man who is better than you are - hire him. If necessary, pay him more than you pay yourself. - David Ogilvy

The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

All men have the same dose of happiness. I would have been no less happy as Monsieur Bonaparte than as the Emperor Napoleon. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either. - Evan Esar

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


Sheep Dog Distancing

Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star

Shoplifter Warning

Eavestrough Cat

Bobbie Tickle

Exhausting or Amewzing?

World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access