One Glass Per Day

Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves. - William D'Avenant

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul. - George Bernard Shaw

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Teach your daughter to worry less about fitting into the glass slippers and more about shattering the glass ceilings. - Unknown

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. - Harry Hill

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison