One Glass Per Day

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul. - George Bernard Shaw

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: glass half full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have. - Goldie Hawn

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. - Harry Hill

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster