One Glass Per Day

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul. - George Bernard Shaw

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big. - George Carlin

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable. - Simon Sinek

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. - Harry Hill

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor