Hole In One

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Installment: Putting a horse in his stall - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Putting your hands in the earth is very grounding. - John Glover

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Putting Green: Great oaths from little acorns grow. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell. - Bill Copeland

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. - George Burns

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

A good lie will have traveled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots. - Mark Twain

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out. - Stephen Covey

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com