Hole In One

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Rebate: Putting another worm on the hook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell. - Bill Copeland

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

You are absolutely free to describe me as a turtle or something. - Paul Giamatti

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. - French proverb

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry

Life isn't about finding pieces of a puzzle. It's about creating and putting those exceptional pieces together. - Unknown

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez