#1 humor site on the 'net

Expired Marriage

When does your marriage license expire?

Expired Marriage thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Aspire to inspire before we expire. - Unknown

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


Computer Multitasker - He Be Da' Man!

Modern Romance

T-Shirt Answer

Handbell Registration

Spamdex Pork Shorts

What's Your Blues Name?

Big Sister vs Big Brother

Growing Own Pot

Boat Tram

Duct Tape Wall Bed

Pilot Lounge

How Do You Like Your Steak?

Chopper Bike

Bed Bug

Truck Load

Wallusion

Soft Landing - Kowabunga, Dude!

Baby Hatching

Piglet Hubs

Hummers Only Look Tough

Lego Steps

SpaghettiOh Face

Cute Puppy

Slim People Bathroom