#1 humor site on the 'net

Did You Say Happy Easter?

Hearing impaired chocolates all too common at Easter

Did You Say Happy Easter? thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Hear the meaning within the word. - William Shakespeare

Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? - H.M. Warner

I hear the tusks are looser in Alabama. - WC Fields

Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I am a chocolatarian. I only eat chocolate. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

You don't hear me gettin' historical. - Archie Bunker

Praise does wonders for the sense of hearing. - Unknown

Music is like a dream. One that I cannot hear. - Ludwig van Beethoven

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

The crow flew closer, as if to hear its praises. - Emma Donoghue

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

You'll never ever hear her toot her own horn. - Bruce Bailey

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Caramels are a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing. - Milton Hershey

Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. - Unknown

Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate. - Unknown

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

The ear is the only true writer and the only true reader. - Robert Frost

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

When we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes. - Joan Bauer

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear. - Maya Angelou

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

It's hard to hear anything new when you are the only one talking. - Rick Godwin

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

Death twitches my ear. "Live," he says; "I am coming." - Virgil

Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

When some men discharge an obligation you can hear the report for miles around. - Mark Twain

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day. - Thornton Wilder

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

When you don't share your problems, you resent hearing the problems of other people. - Chuck Palahniuk

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. - Robert Ingersoll

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. - Forrest Gump

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" - Sydney J Harris

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are. - C S Lewis

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts we get under no other condition. - Amelia Barr


Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Redneck Post Support

Indiana Jeans

First Performance

Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho

Too Much Turkey

Best Friend Theft

Baconurkey

Biggest Turkeys