#1 humor site on the 'net

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Wired bird

Bird on a Wire (past tense) thanks to Don McKelvy

QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

I invented the cordless extension cord. - Steven Wright

Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin

There is always danger for those who are afraid. - George Bernard Shaw

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Creativity is a natural extension of our enthusiasm. - Earl Nightingale

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions. - Alfred Adler

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls! - Reif Larsen

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk. - Soren Kierkegaard

A pedestrian is a man in danger of his life. A walker is a man in possession of his soul. - David McCord

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit. - Gordon Parks

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward. - Jean Paul Richter

The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots. - Eric Fromm

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. - Helen Keller

I have written a book. This will come as quite a shock to some. They didn't think I could read, much less write. - George W. Bush

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. - Michelangelo Buonarroti


Bobslide Event

Holy Bagel

Happy Down Under Day

In Deep Water

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Lean Beer

Cow Skiing

Trail Closed

Toothpaste Holder

Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute

Tiger Dog

No More Arguing

Multi-Pour Coffee Pot

Things Bottled Up

Cake Message

SnowCut

Depressing Situation

Dark Ages for Jews

Chinese BBQ

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Turbo Snail

Power Outage

Beijing Redneck

Late Lecture