#1 humor site on the 'net

The Joe-kster Working Out

Strong may be OK, but smell isn't everything!

The Joe-kster Working Out thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Success is dependent on effort. - Sophocles

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Sweat plus sacrifice equals success. - Charlie Finley

There is no disinfectant like success. - Daniel J Boorstin

The strength of the Wolf is in the pack. - Rudyard Kipling

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Wisdom is always an overmatch for strength. - Phil Jackson

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success. - Christopher Lasch

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

Success is not forever, and failure's not fatal. - Don Shula

To do a common thing uncommonly well brings success. - Henry J Heinz

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. - Albert Einstein

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise. - Sigmund Freud

Everybody has an addiction, mine happens to be success. - Drake

For success, attitude is equally as important as ability. - Harry F Banks

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

The secret of my success is a two-word answer: Know people. - Harvey S Firestone

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

It's about 90 percent strength and 40 percent technique. - Johnny Walker

Before anything else, getting ready is the secret of success. - Henry Ford

There is no elevator to success - you have to take the stairs. - Unknown

Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power. - Lao-tzu

Failure and setbacks are ingredients for a great success story. - Unknown

I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse. - Florence Nightingale

Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have. - Zig Ziglar

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch. - Mary Kay Ash

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. - Earl Nightingale

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws. - Barbara Kingsolver

To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success. - Anna Pavlova

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. - Vidal Sassoon

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. - Henry David Thoreau

Success comes when people act together; failure tends to happen alone. - Deepak Chopra

The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do, well. - Henry W. Longfellow

I don't judge success by what I once did, but by what I keep doing. - Johnny Kelley

Some quick advice for success in life: Don't be afraid, be amazing. - Cuthbert Soup

Success is the only motivational factor that a boy with character needs. - Woody Hayes

The penalty of success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you. - Nancy Astor

Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in. - Bill Bradley

Pray that success will not come any faster than you are able to endure it. - Elbert Hubbard

Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts. - John Wooden

Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. - Johnny Cash

Perseverance: A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: pushing down or pulling up. - Booker T. Washington

The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed. - Nelson Boswell

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

You can always tell when you are on the road to success; it's uphill all the way. - Paul Harvey

Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other. - Brian Tracy

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

The greatest men have been those who have cut their way to success through difficulties. - F.W. Robertson

Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable. - Coco Chanel

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I can give you a six-word formula for success: Think things through - then follow through. - Edward Rickenbacker

I believe any success in life is made by going into an area with a blind, furious optimism. - Sylvester Stallone

Gaming goes in trends, and for a bit of a too-long stretch, it focused on huge productions. - Markus Persson

To demand more of yourself than you do of others is the first step on any ladder of success. - Unknown

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

The secret to my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and chewed as fast as I could. - Paul Hogan

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time. - Josh Billings

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

The superior man makes the difficulty to be overcome his first interest; success only comes later. - Confucius

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness. - Zig Ziglar

Success in life is not a matter so much of talent or opportunity but of concentration and perseverance. - C.W. Wendte

Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. - Dale Carnegie

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Success is one thing you can't pay for. You buy it on the installment plan and make payments every day. - Zig Ziglar

We - we need strength, we need energy, we need quickness and we need brain in this country to turn it around. - Donald Trump

There is no scientific answer for success. You can't define it. You've simply got to live it and do it. - Anita Roddick

Your belief in yourself and your company and your place in the world may be the main determination of your success. - Tom Butler-Bowdon

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

We so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away. - Ellen Glasgow

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody. - Herbert B Swope

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? - Carol Burnett

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A constant struggle, a ceaseless battle to bring success from inhospitable surroundings, is the price of all great achievements. - Orison Swett Marden

The difference between a successful person and others is not lack of strength not a lack of knowledge but rather a lack of will. - Vince Lombardi

Leadership is all about caring, daring and sharing. Caring for people, Daring to Act fearlessly, and Sharing the success with all. - Sujit Lalwani

Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives. - Newell D. Hillis

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes it's built on catastrophe. - Sumner Redstone

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

If you have a success you have it for the wrong reasons. If you become popular it is always because of the worst aspects of your work. - Ernest Hemingway

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Perseverance is a great element of success; if you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The secret of my success? It is simple. It is found in the Bible, 'In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.' - George Washington Carver

The secret of success is to be in harmony with existence, to be always calm to let each wave of life wash us a little farther up the shore. - Cyril Connolly

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson

Never try to be better than someone else. Learn from others, and try to be the best you can be. Success is the by-product of that preparation. - John Wooden

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

It's only lonely at the top if you forget all the people you met along the way and fail to acknowledge their contributions to your success. - Harvey Mackay

Every job I do, I like to think it makes me better, or I learn things. It's all about how much something's going to stretch me or test me. - Daniel Radcliffe

The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success. - B.C. Forbes

Traveling the world was a constant thing, rich with experiences. But all of it was relative to being able to play live onstage and really stretch out. - Jimmy Page


Drawn To Curiosity

Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP

Senior's Paddle Surfboard

Fat to Fit

Jumping The Gun

Owl Rotation

Weakest Part

Wine Secret

Living Inside a Garbage Truck

Zebra Bus Stop

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Owl Skeleton

Mexorcist

Vegetarian MissSteak

VW Owner

Zoo Invitation

Robbie Knievel Tickets

Carb Cutter