#1 humor site on the 'net

Rush Job Calendar

Special calendar for handling rush jobs throughout the year

Rush Job Calendar thanks to joe-kster

Ever had a job that's required yesterday?

QuotaBills
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. - Aristotle

Never send a human to do a machine's job. - Hugo Weaving

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. - Aristotle

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? - Robin Williams

The longer the title, the less important the job. - George McGovern

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - Steven Wright

If you want the job done fast, give it to a busy person. - Unknown

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time. - Marilyn Monroe

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. - Henry Ford

Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves. - Dale Carnegie

We always admire the other fellow more after we have tried to do his job. - William Feather

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius

My uncle is in trouble with his union. They caught him working on the job. - Joey Adams

Start an editorial calendar that everyone involved in your blog can access. - Kristi Hines

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. - Bill Gates

Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. - Charles Richards

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. - Harry S Truman

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

I have a great, great company. I employ thousands of people. And I'm very proud of the job I did. - Donald Trump

The friend that always finds time to spend with you without consulting his or her calendar is a true friend. - Ellen J. Barrier

I refuse to believe in three things: cash, clock, and calendar. You should never be enslaved by these three. - Sharad Sagar

Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools. - Marshall McLuhan

Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it. - Jack Nichols

You should run your life not by the calendar but how you feel, and what you're interests are and ambitions. - John Glenn

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

Kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run. - Barbara Kingsolver

To be efficient means getting the job done in a smart, resourceful and timely way. To be effective means getting the right job done well, efficiently or not. - Thomas Leonard

I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work. - Harry Truman

Think of an economy where people could be an artist or a photographer or a writer without worrying about keeping their day job in order to have health insurance. - Nancy Pelosi

You make what seems to be a simple choice: Choose a man or a job or a neighborhood - and what you have chosen is not a man or a job or a neighborhood, but a life. - Jessamyn West

The majority of the members of the Irish parliament are professional politicians, in the sense that otherwise they would not be given jobs minding mice at crossroads. - Flann O'Brien

Rethink training: the best process of learning is on the the job, just-in-time, 'nibble-knowledge' to incrementally transform mindsets and skillsets irrevocably. - Tony Dovale

For me it was different because I play a lot of villains and in this one I play a dad and I play a good guy, basically. He's the Secretary of the Treasury. I never had a job like that. - Christopher Walken

Employee loyalty begins with employer loyalty. Your employees should know that if they do the job they were hired to do with a reasonable amount of competence and efficiency, you will support them. - Harvey Mackay

The new calendar was only one of countless utopian measures the ruling Jacobins initiated in 1793–94, but it is notable because, apparently, not a single person had to be murdered to carry it out. - Tom Reiss

If I don't have a job, I don't know why I bother to get up. Any time the phone rings, I'm ready to go. What else am I going to do? See, I've never retired. I don't even know what it means. - Morgan Freeman

I have used the laws of this country just like the greatest people that you read about every day in business have used the laws of this country, the chapter laws, to do a great job for my company, for myself, for my employees, for my family... - Donald Trump


Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Valium Latte

Tree Removal

Happy Billionaire Halloween

Almost Done

Halloween Transformers

Latte Defined

Bush Zombie

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

Cutting Off Board

Eat Your Dinner!

Hormone Guide

Gun Laws

Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art

Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper