#1 humor site on the 'net

One Of Those Days

Days when nothing goes right

One Of Those Days thanks to Dick Brighton, North Vancouver, B.C.

QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Pessimism is the triumph of worry over matter. - Unknown

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist. - Paul Harvey

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Robert G. Allen

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A pessimist is someone who makes difficulties of his opportunities. - Unknown

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Benjamin Franklin

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. - Olin Miller

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey


Kwik-Mart Math

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway