#1 humor site on the 'net

Chocolate Math for 2020

Guessing your age through chocolate

Chocolate Math for 2020 thanks to Karen Moore

[This is pretty neat how it works out... DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST... It takes less than a minute... Work this out as you read... Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out...]

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (try for more than once but less than 10) ...

2. Multiply this number by 2 ...

3. Add 5 ...

4. Multiply it by 50. I'll wait while you get the calculator ...

5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1770 *; If you haven't, add 1769 *...

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born ...

You should have a three digit number ...

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e. how many times you want to have chocolate each week) ...

The next two numbers equal ...


* Number dependent on Year

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? - George Carlin

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

Bison: What you say when your child leaves for school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Well, another day has passed and I didn't use Algebra once. - Unknown

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

To be safe at the expense of the liberty of other people is a difficult equation. - Madeleine Albright

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

If you took love out of the equation, I wouldn't know what else to write about. - Nick Cave

In one equation you can solve all the puzzles of life. It is the equation of giving. - Amit Ray

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Aftermath: 1. The period following algebra; 2. The horrible headache you have when you've finished the algebra test. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Probably no symbol in mathematics has evoked as much mystery, romanticism, misconception and human interest as the number pi. - William L Schaaf

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life

Dog Walker

New Zealand Prepares For War

Window Washing Daredevil

Aussie Ford Coupe

Pushing The Envelope

Window Fall Repair

Bacon Balls

Tiny Forest

Inside Loo View

Finally 21

Diet Swing

Vealy Big Meal

Just Like Grandpa

Long Liquor Store