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Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority

Future Corrections Officer thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Try as you may to hide, you can never contain the beauty of your Soul. - Cheryl lee Harnish

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own. - George Bernard Shaw

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


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