Either The Cat or Husband Goes

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen