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Either The Cat or Husband Goes

When one of them will go to a good home

Either The Cat or Husband Goes thanks to Miriam Jensen

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Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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