Before Morning Coffee

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia