Before Morning Coffee

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda