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Before Morning Coffee

Cat food substitute, when available

Before Morning Coffee thanks to Martin Grosse

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France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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