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Kids Rids
You're Kid'n me, right?


 
 
How do you get an astronaut's baby to fall asleep?
 
What do you do with crude oil?
 
What month is good for toast?
 
What do amphibians play late at night?
 
What do you get if you cross a Shakespeare play and 3 eggs?
 
How do you clean the ice off tall buildings?
 
How do fleas travel?
 
What did the tailor take for his sore throat?
 
Which Great Lake thinks it's better than all the others?
 
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
 
What should you wear when you go to the beach with a monster?
 
Where did the computer stay when he joined the army?
 
What is the first thing an elephant does at the airport?
 
What do you call someone who keeps on talking when no one is listening?
 
Why did the fireplace call the Doctor?
 
Do cows give milk?
 
How did the vampire student start a fire while studying?
 
When does a woman care deeply for her husband's company?
 
Did you hear about the moth that flew into the two-year-old's birthday party?
 
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine>
 
What happens when frogs park illegally?
 
What did the grape do when it was stepped on?
 
What do ants put on their pizza?
 
Why was the nanny goat so upset?
 
How did the corn do in the band?
 
What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?
 
Why do monks always wear brown?
 
Do fish perspire?
 
Which fish finds the best bargains?
 
How do you close an envelope underwater?
 
What part of your body has the most rhythm?
 
What is a caveman's favourite lunch?
 
What does Porky do to keep himself busy?
 
What is the vampire's least favourite food?
 
What is the best way to talk to a hot dog?
 
What fruit will never run away and get married?
 
What is the most squeamish animal?
 
Who was the most brilliant pig in the world?
 
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
 
Why did the lazy boy hate spaghetti, lasagna and fettuccine?
 
Why do cows wear bells?
 
How did the duck do on its report card?
 
What assignment do Alaskans bring back from school?
 
What do gangsters put on the front of their cars?
 
What do you get when you cross a clock with a cigarette?
 
What happened when the dog went to school?
 
What school event do labour leaders like?
 
What do you call a red-headed lady on a blue and white plane travelling from New York to Los Angeles?
 
What does a banana need to become President?
 
What's a magician's favourite subject?
 
Where do math teachers go to eat?
 
Why did the janitor quit his job?
 
Why did the school orchestra terminate?
 
Why was the swimming coach fired?
 
Why didn't the girls' softball team wear stockings?
 
Why did the teacher bring honey to school?
 
Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
 
Why were all the computer users standing in a row?
 
Why did the supermodel get an "A" in math?
 
Why do electric eels go to college?
 
What is an atomic scientist's favourite snack?
 
What do termites eat for breakfast?
 
What player on a baseball team pours lemonade?
 
What clothing does a house wear?
 
What's a grasshopper's favourite game?
 
What do you get if you cross a telephone and a shirt?
 
Why did the man mail his friend a clock?
 
Where do otters come from?
 
What do you call 2 boys hanging from the ceiling?
 
What do dogs put on their pizza?
 
What kind of haircut does a bee get?
 
What's the first thing you need to split an atom?
 
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
 
What are the small rivers that run into the Nile?
 
How do you clear ice off the windows of tall buildings?
 
What did the tennis team write for the school paper?
 
What club do fish like to join?
 
Why do women live longer than men?
 
Where does a pig leave its car when it takes the train?
 
What's the best way to make sure you always remember your wife's birthday?
 
Did you hear about the absent-minded Siamese twins?
 
In what school do you have to drop out before you graduate?
 
What did the lobster major in at the police academy?
 
What goes "ring, ring" every morning at the wrong time?
 
What did the leopard say to his friends in the school cafeteria?
 
Why did the captain go to college?
 
Where do furniture polishers get their education?
 
Where do sleepy students carry their books?
 
Why did everyone think the English teacher was very old?
 
Why did the mailman take the alphabet?
 
What is the favourite sermon of the painter-turned-pastor?
 
What did the fish do in music class?
 
What did the ruler say to the pencil?
 
What do you get when you cross the English department with the school cafeteria?
 
What do porcupines write their reports with?
 
What do you get when you cross a class clown with Mr. Spock?
 
What do pigs do after school?
 
What kind of joe-ks did Einstein like?
 
What do construction workers play with in kindergarten?
 
What must you pay to get to school?
 
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