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WorldRecord1
WorldRecord2
Yo Mama
Finance Joe-ks
joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.
“If 10%
is good enough for God, it ought to be good enough for Revenue Canada.”
“If you
think nobody cares, try missing a couple of bank payments.”
“Never
take investment advice from someone who's working.”
“Revenue
Canada: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.”
“The
last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.”
“Expenditure
rises to meet income.”
“Money
isn’t everything as long as you have enough.”
“Return
on investment equals loss due to inflation plus taxes - which equals zero.”
“To
turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn $100 million into $110 million is
inevitable.”
“Why
does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you
thirty cents?”
“Why
do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not
enough?”
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
“He
was so cheap that he wouldn’t even tip in a canoe.”
“Banker:
A man who offers you an umbrella when the sun is shining, then wants it back
when it starts to rain.”
Budgeting: The most orderly way of going into debt.
Cost Of Living: The difference between your net income and your gross habits.
Raise: The increase in pay you get just before going into debt a little further.
Wealth: A curse when the neighbours have it.
“State Says Cost of Saving
Money Too High”
“What’s
the value of a dollar bill?” asked Tom noteworthily.
“OK,
you can borrow it again,” Tom relented.
“I’ve
transferred my money back into a German bank account,” Tom remarked with
interest.
“I
invested in a hi-tech startup,” Tom ventured.
What happens when vowels lend money?
If you can see a bandwagon, it’s too late to get on it.
“Concentrate
on financial matters until the end of the month...”
“Financial
security is just around the corner...”
“Financial
success is on your doorsteps...”
“Your
financial outlook is excellent...”
If prices are rising, what remains stationary?
Deficit: What you have when you don't have as much as if you had nothing.
Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.
Money: The best substitute for credit.
Proof Of Purchase: An empty wallet.
Why does a man with very little money buy a short coat?
Expense Account: Account deceivables.
Merger: When 1+1=1, with the remainder going on unemployment.
Puff Adder: A chain smoking accountant.
Silicone Treatment: The bust that money can buy.
Visacarditis: The heart-stopping sensation brought on by exceeding your credit
limit.
Poverty: One thing that money can't buy
I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money.
If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it.
It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked.
What happens to salaries during a wage freeze?
(click on the thumbnail image below to
expand to full size)
Dollar Drop
UK Credit Crunch
Used Cows For Sale
Redneck Solution for High Gas Prices
Raise Twins
New Energy Source
Gas Prices Around The World
Benefits of High Gas Prices
Half House For Sale
IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener
First Computer
High Withdrawals
Harley Outsourcing Strategy
(2.3M)
Gas Financing
How To Conserve Gas
No Time For Stamps
Divorce Defined
Addictive Mahjong
When Gas Costs Too Much
IRS Toothpaste
Revenue Canada Simplified 2007
Tax Form
Rich Man's Hobby
House Appraisal
New
Oil Company Sign
@ Internet - The Place 2B
1-800-PILLCASH
$10
Conversion
12
Days of Christmas - Cost of True Love for 2004
12
Days of Christmas - Economizing Measures
1907 to 2007: Century of Change
1923 Leaders
and Losers
1943 Guide to Hiring Women
1st Static Electricity-Powered Home (3.1M)
2003 Org Chart Strategy
2004 World Consumption Stats - Can Money Buy Happiness?
2005 Brinks Robbery
2005 California State Employee Handbook (430k)
2006 Massive Tax Refund (260k)
2007 Ford Shelby GR1 Concept Car
2008 Rush Job Calendar
2030 News Flash for the U.S.
401K Plan - Privatizing Social Security
5 Dollars of Gas
6-Year-Old’s Wedding Plans
A Free Ride: $10 is $10!
Aardvark Marriage Insurance
Accountant Defined
Achieving More At Work – Better Management Styles
Addictive Mahjong
Administratium - Heaviest Element
Discovered
Advantages of Using The Company Car
After Easter Bunny
After-Gas Piggy Bank
All In The Family -
Godly Relations
Amended Company Travel Policy
American & French Revolution History by College Students
Anagrams 4U: Words, Phrases & Business Terms
Another Wasted Meeting?
Artist Appreciation
Asking
For A Pay Raise
Aspiring Accountant
Attending To Business
Australia 101 For Tourists
Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage
Automatic
Flattery - Give Yourself Some Recognition
Automatic Salary Review (25k)
Baby Bargain Hunter
Back Peddling Violinist
Bad English Translations on International Signs
Baked Democrat
Baker's
Special Deal
Bank Bills
Bank Deposit
Bank of Newfie Scotia ATM Instructions
"Be A Man" Power Struggle, eh! (2.4M)
Be Careful What You Ask For, Red Sox Fans! (1.4M)
Bedworthy Bartender
Benefits of High Gas Prices
The
Bertuzzi Bridge
The Best Advice
Best Casino Ad
(1.1M)
Bier Making Oudfit -
Balancin Schtatement
Biggest Skinflint in Scotland
Bike Insurance or Life Insurance? (1.0M)
BillGatus of Borg - Resistance is
Futile
Blonde Bull-ony
Blonde Millionaire
Blonde
Window Replacement
Bloodsucker Bank - Guaranteed To Suck Your Funds Dry
Blue Angels Trainees
Bounced Check
Brain Transplant
Brick Placement: How To Recruit Employees
British Power Smart
(1.7M)
BrokeBank Mountain
Broker Potential
Broker Yachts
Bubba's New Truck
Buy Her A Mink
Coat
Buy Her Something Expensive
Buzzword
Statement (B.S.) Generator
Calling in Sick - Snow Job for the Boss
Can You Take It With You When You Die?
Canada’s Secret Aircraft Carrier – STOL Around, eh!
Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie
Canadian Well-Fare
Cell Phones Can Cause Accidents (830k)
Cell Toll
CEO's Sensitive Document
CEO Staff Assessment
Chances of a Man Winning an
Argument
Charity at the Preachers’ Convention
Cheap Seats
Chinese Puzzle Car
Chocolate Math for 2008
Christmas Letter To God
Christmukah
– Major Holiday Merger
Church Accepts All Denominations
Chutzpah Defined
Citibank Late Fees
Client Part-Time Billing
Coast Guard Cutbacks
Collection
Up For Grabs
Company's Biggest IT Fear
Comparing the Price of Gasoline
Compassionate Accountant
Comprehending Accountants
Computer Tools
Computer’s Organization Plan of the Future
Congratulations On Your New Home Loan! (2.5M)
Copyright
Corporate Balls
Corporate Rowing
Coulda Been Worse
Cowboy's Gift From Revenue Canada
Crap In The Carburetor
Credit Corpsoration
Crochet Doll Collection
Cubicle Claustrophobia
Cuckoo Blondes on
'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'
Dad's Ex-Ferrari
Daffynitions for the Humourist
Dead
Motorcycle For Sale
Dear Bank Manager - Bank On My
Account
Dentist’s Good & Bad News
Depression Millionaire
Detroit
Tigers Tickets
The Difference Between a Canadian and a Canoe
The
Difference Between The Rich and Poor
Dilbert Managers
Disability Insurance for the New Prisoner (660k)
Disaster Preparedness for the Lottery
Discount Airfare
for 2-Year Olds
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
'Do It' Professional Trades Guide
Do Not Feed The Animals
Do You Have An HMO?
Dollar Drop
Donkey Auction
Don't Annoy The Maid (500k)
Don’t Despair – Sister Martha’s Looking After You
Don't Feed/Need The Accountants:
Feed
Need
Don’t Mess With A Newfie
Don't Mess With My SS Check
(900k)
Don't Think About Sending More Money
Dot Com Monopoly
Drink, Don't Drive!
Dubai Ski Hill
Dubm Kid @ The Barber Shop
Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad
Dying Request
Economics 101
Europeans Say No To The Euro
eBeh - Canadian Internet Trading, eh!
Economist Lunch
Economy Flight
Economy Flight Plan
Eh Two, Canada? Canadian Knowledge Quiz
Election Promises from an Executive Airbus
Election Time - Time to Nano-Size the Government
Elephant Sale in a Bargain Market
Employee Benefits - Guidelines
Employee
Future Bonus Award Program
Employee Training
"Employees Are Our Greatest
Asset"
Employee's
Raisin Pay Bonus Program
English
Diet
Enron Accountant Interview
ESP Cheque Book Reconciliation
Essential Office Stationery
Ethiopian Math
EuroEnglish - European Community's New Official Language
Ever Notice…
Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Canada, eh!
Ex-Lawyer
Plumber
Executive Management Sharp Shooter
Expensive Mini Ride
Extravagant Scottish Expenses
Fair Compensation
Fair Trial
Farmer’s Cost Of Living
Firemen to the Rescue Highest Bidder (3.9M)
First Computer
First Handheld Computer
Flu Vaccine Cow Delivery To America
Football FINALLY Makes Sense!
For Services Rendered
Formula For Success – MBA 101
Fuelish Wallet
Garage Sale for the Soon-To-Be-Departed
Gas Competitors Reach Agreement
Gas Financing
Gas Prices Around The World
Gas Prices' Effect on Gas Stations
Gas Saving Motorcyclist
Generous Judge's Divorce Settlement
Generous Lawyer
Go Dawgs!
Golf Ball Resort
Golf Pro’s Ball Markers
Golfer
Who Can't Change
Goofy
Newfie’s BIG Nickel
Grad Prom in a Stretch 'Vette
Granny Fanny Sues Bank
Guided Missile’s Civil Name
Half House For Sale
Half-Your-Job Computer
Hand Face
Hang On To That Thought
Happy Halloween from Billionaires:
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
Happy or Sad Money?
Happy Valentine's Day to Our New Father
Harley Outsourcing Strategy
(2.3M)
Heart Transplant
Heating Load Reduction
Hemophilia Loss
Henny Youngman Quotes
High Cost Of Gas for 2-Car Families
High Gas Price Comparison
High Gas Prices 2004:
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
#9
#10
#11
High Strung Violinist
High Water Bill (4.4M)
High Withdrawals
HMO Judgment Day
Honourable Organization
Horse Doctorate
Horse Mate: Triple Crown Foals
Horse Racing is Very Romantic
Hospital Gown Insurance
Hospital Twin Bill
Hot Dog Math
House Appraisal
How Good Is
Your IQ?
How Much Is A Billion to a Canadian Politician?
How Not To
Tell Your Boss You've Won The Lottery
How
Paying Taxes Can Be Beneficial For You!
How Smart Are You?
How To Calculate the Cost of Living
How To Conserve Gas
How To End Unemployment
How To Get A Liberal Party Contract
How To Reduce Complaints At Work
How To Save Money At Christmas
How To Spot A Rich Guy
How To Stump An Accountant
How You Can Be Happy @ Work:
#1
#2
#3
Hydro's Dam New Aggressive Marketing Strategy
Hymn Choice Reward for Biggest Givers
I Love My Job!
I Want One!
If NASA Needs Money ...
In-Debted For Life
Indian Wisdom
Inflation in 2004
Inflationary Language
Insur-Ann-ce
Policy Cancellation
Interest-ing Blonde
International Sign of Marriage
Interview Tip - When You Have To See Someone
Inverted Profit Projections
Investment Truths
Irish Moroffs Rob Bank – Get Egg On Face
Iron Deposit
I.R.S. Humor
IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener
IRS Toothpaste
"It's A Good Thing", Martha! #1 #2 #3
JackPot
(835k)
Jethro's Almost Inheritance
Jewish Fire Department
Job Market Changes
(4.8M)
Jock or Nerd?
Jockey Racing
Judge-mental Lawyers
Katrina T-Shirts
Kermit Frog Loan
Keyboard Technology - Old Meets New
Land Title Process in New Orleans
Las Vegas Church Donations
Lawyer Commits
Insurance Fraud With Box of Cigars?
Lawyer Expands Practice
Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch
Lawyer Pays Back Debt
Lead Sled Dog
