Euphemisms

What is a Euphemism? A euphemism is the term used for the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant ... or, simply stated: Doublespeak - How Not To Say What You Mean - words and phrases used by businesses, educators, advertisers and even the government



Euphemism Translation
404
40ish
Adminisphere
Affectionate
Ambitious
Appreciates Quality
Artist
Assmosis
Athletic
Average Looking
Beautiful
Blamestorming
Creative Altruism
Cube Farm
Data Transport System
Disease-Free
Down To Earth
Educated
Elegant
Employed
Enjoys Life's Pleasures
Enjoys Long Walks
Enjoys Moonlit Nights
Excited About Life's Journey
Exotic Beauty
Expressive
Fashionably Thin
Financially Secure
Flexible
Free Spirit
Friendship First
Fun
Fun-Loving
Generica
Gentle
Gifts
Good Sense Of Humour
Gourment Cook
Grief Therapist
High Standards
Honest
Huggable
Human Kinetics
Implement A Lean Concept of Synchronous Organizational Structure
Independently Wealthy
Internet Entrepreneur
Intuitive
Irreverent
Irritainment
Life Of The Party
Likes To Cuddle
Marriage Minded
Moody
Mouse Potato
Negative Gain in Test Scores
Non-Traditional
OhNo Second
Open-Minded
Outgoing
Passionate
Percussive Maintenance
Perfect
Personal Manual Database
Physically Fit
Poet
Prairie Dogging
Preventive Detention
Producer Cooperative
Professional
Reliable
Resourceful
Salmon Day
Seagull Manager
Self-Employed
Sensitive
Sitcom
Sophisticated
Soulful
Spiritual
Spiritually Evolved
Spontaneous
Spontaneous/Eclectic
Stable
Stress Puppy
Stylish
Succcessful
Sultry/Sensual
Swarthy
Swipeout
Thoughtful
Unaffected and Earthy
Uncontained Engine Failure
Uninhibited
Variance
Very Human
Vulcan Nerve Pinch
Wants Soulmate
Weed
Wet Deposition
Woofys
Writer
Xerox Subsidy
Youthful
Someone who is computer challenged, clueless and quite possibly a moroff
52 and looking for 25-year old
Rarefied organizational layers just above rank & file to create irrelevant/inappropriate solutions
Needy, and looking for mother figure; Self-centered adult
Ruthlessly exploits people
But expects someone else to pay for it
Unreliable
People who absorb success & advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard
Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average hair growth on ears, nose and back
Spends a lot of time in front of mirrors
Group discussion about a failed project & who is to blame
Love
An office filled with cubicles
Briefcase
Up to date on mumps vaccinations
Petty and vindictive
Will always treat you like a moroff
Dripping with costume jewelry
Part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Overindulged, spoiled brat
Car has been repossessed
Can't pay the electric bill
No concept of reality
Would frighten a Martian
Being sued for libel
Emaciated, with sharply jutting hipbones
Has $5 in the bank
Desperate
Substance abuser
As long as friendship involves nudity
Good with a remote and a six pack
Expects to be entertained
Features of American landscape exactly the same no matter where one is (i.e. MacBarf)
Comatose
Money
Watches a lot of television
Can just about manage microwaving frozen dinners
Undertaker
Blind to own flaws, unforgiving of others
Pathological liar
Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben
Physical Education
Fire Someone
Owns millions of worthless dotcom options
Big-time spammer
Your opinion doesn't count
Nasty and lacking basic social skills
Annoying entertainment & media spectacles that you can't stop watching
Poor impulse control
Insecure, overly dependent
A bigamist
Manic-depressive
Online answer to the couch potato
Drop in test scores
Ex-wife lives in the basement
1 nanosecond after you've sent your "Take your job & stuff it" email to your boss
Desperate
Loud
Loud
Fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again
Has mastered the art of self-delusion
Calendar
Still breathing
Boring manic-depressive
Someone screams something in a cube farm, & people's heads pop up all over
Jail
Cartel
Owns a white button-down
Shows up on time, give or take 3 hours
Calls the super to fix a leaky faucet
Experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end
Manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, then leaves
Jobless
Needy
Single income, 2 children, oppressive mortgage; Yuppies turn into this
Spends afternoons at K-Mart's perfume counter
Quiet manic-depressive
Involved with a cult
Subject to delusions and fainting spells
Picks his nose at traffic lights
Scatterbrained
Occasional stalker, but never arrested
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny
Slave to every fad that comes down the pike
Won $10 in the lottery once
Easy
Sweaty even when cold or standing still
An ATM or credit card rendered useless due to extensive use
Says "Please" when demanding a beer
Slob and lacking basic social skills
Explosion
Lacking basic social skills
Mistake
Quasimodo's best friend
Taxing hand position required to reach keys for some computer commands
One step away from stalking
Censor
Acid Rain
Well Off Older Folks
Once scribbled on a bathroom stall
Swiping free photocopies from one's workplace
Over 40, and trying to deny it


Anagrams
Aptonyms & Aptronyms
Daffynitions
Oxymorons
Palindromes
Pangrams
Phrases
Phrase Codes from Past Years
Riddles
Sounds The Same

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