Doctor Joe-ks
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Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
At my age, getting a second doctor's opinion is kind of like switching slot machines.
Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
To spot the doctor, pick the one who still has his appendix and tonsils.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
There's no rejection in life quite like a cancelled shrink appointment.
His doctor told him to take a urine test, so he studied for 3 weeks.
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
So you think Healthcare is expensive now? Just wait till it's FREE!
Never say, “I'm new at this” to a patient. First Rule for Interns.
What do you do when the Doctor tells you you're iron-deficient?
Sign on a Harley in Sturgis:  “I'm no gynecologist but I'll check”
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
URL: What you don't want the doc to say at your yearly exam.
What's left after a doctor removes part of a patient's colon?
What kind of bandage do people wear after heart surgery?
What did the Doctor tell the patient with chronic diarrhea?
Why didn't the Doctor give his patient a local anesthetic?
What does a chiropractor take at the end of his studies?
Nobody is sicker than the man who is sick on his day off.
How do you feel after a Doctor sticks a needle into you?
Plastic Surgeon's Sign: “Hello, can we pick your nose?”
What do you give a Doctor who prescribes a placebo?
Why did the psychiatrist develop a split personality?
“I'm waiting to see the doctor,” said Tom patiently.
What kind of mouthwash do Doctors recommend?
What did the Doctor use to fix a broken heart?
Barium: What doctors do when treatment fails.
What did the Doctor say to his hungry patient?
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969696969.
Cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
What does a Doctor do with a sick zeppelin?
What kind of physician comes from Egypt?
What kind of X-rays do foot Doctors take?
How can you tell if your Doctor's a quack?
Podiatrist's Sign: “Time wounds all heels.”
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
How do Doctors prescribe sleeping pills?
A cure guaranteed or your mania back.
Orthodox: Bone doctors.
Paradox: Two physicians.
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
What do you call two doctors?
Episiotomy: Cutting a wide birth.
Pediatrician: Man of little patients.
Support a Lawyer - become a Doctor.
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Specialist in women and other diseases.
Why is what doctors do called “practice”?
What do surgeons charge their patients?
What do foot doctors eat for breakfast?
Seasickness: What a doctor does all day.
What was the surgeon doing in Church?

(click on the thumbnail images below to expand to full size)
Prayer Request for Bob


Dr. OMG


Breast Cancer Cure


Tattoo Implants


How Twins Are Made


Elephant Enema


Butt Lift


Tomato IV


Organ Transplant


Reconstructive Surgery


One Beer A Day


DentAid


ObamaCare Tablets


H1N1 Flu Mask


Sick Tombstone


The Good Old Days


Organ Donor


Bandage Art


Mother's Day Special


Heart Attack Grill


Polish Paramedics


Alzheimer's Wing


Circumcision


Meccano Shoe


Broken Egg


Southern Emergency


Couch Ouch


Mechanical Patient


Fractured Foot or Hand?


Dental Checkup


Break A Leg


Table Scraps in the Operating Room


Baby Peephole


Dentist Bowling


Car Surgeon


Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!

1907 to 2007: Century of Change
6 Nails Driven Into Head - California Man's Survival
65 And Pregnant
911 Emergency
A Head Of His Time
A Man Named Fred
A Woman's Mind
Aardvark Marriage Insurance
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Aerobics Class For Seniors
African Lunch
After Burner
Aging News
Alzheimer's Wing
Ambulance Driver Reports - Fire/Rescue Memorandum
Amnesia Clinic
An Onion A Day Keeps The Others Away
Anger Management Suppository Bullets
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Arkansas Surgeons
Artist Appreciation
Asylum Masterpiece - Exodus From Egypt
Asylum Tests
Australia 101 For Tourists
Baby Peephole
Baby's First Exam
Bandage Art
Baseball for the Inmates
Baseball Sickness
B.C. Health Care
Bedworthy Bartender
Beer Diet
Best Surgical Patients
Better With Viagra
Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital
Big Portion Postcard Delivery
Bird Flu Prevention
Bird Flu Symptoms
Birth Control Pill For Men
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
The Birth Order of Children
Blonde's Medical Dictionary
Blonde Doctor Visit
Blood Test Follow-Up
Bow Tie Syndrome
Boy's Anatomy Lesson
Brain Transplant
Brains:     Female   Male  Female & Male Brains  (pps)
Break A Leg
Breast Cancer Cure
Breast Fed Baby
Breast Implant Breakthrough
Bridge Shin Players
Broken Egg
Broken Lawn Mower - Husband Chores
'Bug Light' Invisible Monsters On Your Desk
Bull Terrier vs. Porcupine: Quill He Make It?
Butt Lift
By Popular Demand - Get A Vasectomy!
Canadian Health Care
Canadian Medical Shaky Study
Cancer Tree
Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover
Car Surgeon
Cardiologist Eulogy
Careful Dentist
CATastrophy in the Kitchen
Cat Woman & Rat Man
Catholic Heart Attack
Cell Phone Extraction... Bum Deal
Chain Gang Message 4U
Chiropractor Mailbox
Chunnel Stress
Circumcision
Clinic Onion Rings
Colonoscopy Comments
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Congratulations On Your New Home Loan!  (2.5M)
Cosmetic Surgery - Wife's Choice
Couch Ouch
Cough Syrup - The Best Treatment
Cow Golf
Cross-Eyed Bull - Newfie Vet's "Proctocol" Remedy
Cure For A Cold - Portable Version
Cure for Child Abuse
Deck Of Cards Patient
Dedicated Golfer Plays Hospital Rounds
Dedicated Manager - Wife or Mistress?
Definitions Of The Obvious
DentAid
Dental Checkup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
Dentist Bowling
Dentist's Good & Bad News
Difference Between Arthritis, Rheumatism and Gout
Diet Doctor To The Rescue
Differences Between Male and Female
Discharge
Do You Drive A Cataract?
Do You Have An HMO?
Do-It-Yourself Vasectomy
Doctor Joe-ks
Doctor, Doctor Joe-ks
Doctor Stories
Doctor Types
Doctor'ed Birthday Cake
Doctor's Advice for Husband's Survival
Doctor's Flat Examination
Doctor's Hunting Skills
Doctor's OR Specialty
Doctor's Report on Present Deliverer's Syndrome
Does Childbirth Hurt?
Don't Do Drugs When Pregnant
Don't Work Too Hard - Nobody Notices Anyway...
Dr. OMG
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Dr. Seuss on Unnecessary RISC
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Duck Doctor
Dying Request
Dyslexic Smiley
Early Acupuncture
Ebola Diet
E. Coli Victim
Ed Zachary Disease
Edmonton Eye Exam
Efficient Micro-Surgeons
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Enema
ER Patch
Essential Medical Information
Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Canada, eh!
Excerpts from Medical Records
Exercise Helps Pregnancy
Excessive Wind Joe-ks
Exhausting Gyne Work
Eye Examination Chart
FaceAche
Fanny Floss - a real "Bum Deal"
Fantasy Letter
Female & Male Brains  (pps)
First Proctologist Exam
Fish Hook Removal  (1.9M)
Flatulence Problem
For Women Only
Fractured Foot or Hand?
German By Birth
Giving Someone The Finger - the Proctocol Way
Good Diagnosis
Good Golfer
The Good Old Days
Gynecologist Exam
Gynecologists Convention
H1N1 Flu Mask
HAGS Disease
Hamster X-ray
Hand Of Hope
He Looks Just Like His Father!
Health Barometer... or just a Bum Deal?
Health Canada Warning - BARS Syndrome
Health Care Profession - Secret Codes
Health Clinic Trauma
Health Tips for Fat Friends
Healthy Breakfast
Heart Attack
Heart Attack Grill
Heart Transplant
Help For The Snoring Husband
Here Comes Baby - Halloween Costume for 2005
HMO Judgment Day
Hole In The Head
Holiday Eating Tips
Holiday Songs for the Disturbed
Honey, I Blew Up My Lung
Honey, What's For Supper?
Honourable Profession
Hope For Siamese Twin Separation
Horse Swallower
Hospital Charts
Hospital Cutbacks
Hospital Cuts
Hospital Twin Bill
How Babies Are Delivered
How To Measure Labour Pains
How To Tell If You've Got What It Takes, Men
How Twins Are Made
How Was I Born - Modern 'Birds And Bees'
If I Stop Chewing Myself ...
If Women Controlled Medicine
In My Footsteps?
Indigestion Recipe: Molded Pork Loaf
Infectious Rabies
Inseparable Seizures - Tribal Specialists
Insufficient Brain Study
Intensive Care Casualties
Jewish Operation
Jewish Samurai
Just Get It Over With
Keep Off The Grass
Lab Work And Cat Scan
Latest Surgical Procedure - 'The Knob'
Laughter Fosters Healthy Blood Vessels
Lettuce Not Go There...
Life After SARS
Life Observations
Lipo Typo
Little Johnny's Tampax Protection
Liver & Spleen Lecture
London Fertility Doctor
Lost Dental Plate
Lost Surgeon on the Internet
Loud Heart
Mac Attack in the Operating Room
Magic Touch
Make Womb For Baby
Mammogram Appointment
Manitoba Health Care's Test For Alzheimer's
Market Share Competition in New York
Meccano Shoe
Mechanical Patient
Medical Alert - Apthous Fever Contamination
Medical Breakthrough
Medical Records
Medical Term for Laziness
Meeting of the Body Parts
Mega Hertz
Memory Test
Mental Patient's Exit Exam
Merits of Good Advice
Michael Jackson's Latest Surgery  (420k)
The Middle Wife and Mom's Play-Center
Mexican Woman Performs Self Caesarean
Miserly Farmer's Conditional Payment
Miss-elle-aneous Quotes
Missing Patient's Time Off Sick
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
"Mommy Alert" Diaper Meter
Monkey Gland Delivery
Monthly Man - Sharing PMS  (2.0M)
Mother's Day Special
Motorcycle Inflammation
Mud Bath Cure
Multiple Bruise Syndrome
New Drugs For Men
New Drugs For Women
New Hospital Wing
New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens
Newfie Big Foot Syndrome
Newfie Brain
Newfie Diet
Newfie 'Pail and Saucer' Birth Control
Newfie Paramedics To The Rescue
Newfie's Sure-Fire Birth Control
Newfie Vasectomy
No Arms Mom - Amazing Inspiration  (4.5M)
No Luck With Women
'No Time For Anesthetic' Golfer
Nostril Growth - Unexpected Returns
Not Looking Good For The Wife
Not-So-Dangerous Operation

Nurse Joe-ks

ObamaCare Tablets
Observant Doctor
Old People Never Die, They Just...
One Beer A Day
'One Drink A Day' Schedule
One Way Ticket To Mars
Only 24 Hours To Live
Operating Room Scraps
Ophthalmologist's Birthday
Organ Donor
Organ Transplant
Orthodontist Perfects Return-On-Investment Technique
Out Of Ammo
Overdue Outpatient News
Overweight Patient's Three-Quarter Prescription
Paramedic Cutbacks
Patient Care (2.4M)
Patient Closes Own Incision
Patient Payment
Patient's Last Request
Patient's "Last Writes"
Patient Patient
Patient's Ticker-Tape Parades
Peek-A-Boo ICU
Penny For Your Thoughts
The Perfect Weight
Pharmacist's Cyanide Prescription
Physical Fitness
Physicians Advised to Avoid Slang
Placebo Pills
Plastic Surgery for Long Life
PLO X-Ray - Concealed Weapon
PMS:     #1    #2Poke Here, Doc
Polish Paramedics
Pool Ball Diet - Doctor's Prescription
Post-Op Complication Prescription
Prayer Request for Bob
Prescription for Dog Barking
Proctologist's Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist's Early Opinion
Psychiatrist Therapy Turns Back Clock
Psychiatric Office Answering Machine
Psychiatrist Transference
Psychiatrist's Patient Advice
Psychoanalysis Test
Psychoanalyst Defined
Razor Blade Swallower
Reconstructive Surgery
Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him!
Rectum Racquetball
Red-Haired Oriental Baby
Redneck Birth Control
Redneck Medical Terms
Redneck Pertection
Redneck Symptoms
Redneck Tick Removal
Re-pen-tant Employee Freed From Penned-Up Feelings
Relative Facelift
Rodney Dangerfield Joe-ks
Roman Paramedic IV's
Salt Water Fuel  (4.9M)
Second Opinion Surgeon
Secretary Not
Seeing End Dog - New Vet Exam
Sharing Your SARS Protection
Sheep Counter
Shingles Delivery
Shrinking Patient
Sick Extension
Sick Tombstone
Signs Of The Times
Simultaneous Hunters
Singing Gynecologist
Sleep Better - Use Birth Control Pills
Sock Anatomy
Southern Emergency
Spank Him Again
Sperm Donor
Stethoscope Solution
Stroke Study
Suffer From Iron Poor Blood? Not Any More!
Surgeon Chat
Surgeries Gone Wrong  (3.9M)
Swallowed Cockroach Goes Good With Fork Chaser
Table Scraps in the Operating Room
“Take Charge” Nurse
Tattoo Implants
Test for Dementia
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Thanks For The Mammaries, Doc!
Things Go Better With Worms
This Drink's On Me
Thorough-Bread Racer
“Thumb Stuck In Food” Waiter
Tight With God
Time's Up!
Tomato Health  (1.7M)
Tomato IV
Tree Hugger's Environmental Non-Protection
Triple Bypass Burger
Uplifting Tooth Extraction
Upturn Girl
Urban Blonde  (1.5M)
Veggie Tale
Wanda The Wonderful
Weight Control Pills
Weird Deaths
Whale Circumcision
What ???
When A Japanese Baby Is Born  (1.5M)
When Can I See The Baby?
Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages
Wife Hid The Remote On You Again?
Wind & Fire - Unfortunate Accident!
Wirgin Honeymoon
Wisdom From Elders
Women's Dream - Men Giving Birth!
Worried Mother
X-Ray Wedding
You Have A Cute Baby


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