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WorldRecord1
WorldRecord2
Yo Mama
Diet Joe-ks
joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!
“There's
only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”
“Everything
I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.”
“He once
went on a diet. Three hundred farmers declared bankruptcy.”
“He
believes in a balanced diet: a beer in each hand.”
“A
successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.”
“Inside
me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with
cookies.”
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
“He
was so fat that he could only play seek.”
Balanced Diet: What you eat at buffet suppers.
Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.
Fat: Energy gone to waist.
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Overweight: Just desserts.
Reducing: Wishful shrinking.
“New
Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.”
“It's
easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.”
Should vegetarians
eat animal crackers?
“Diet
Of Premature Babies Affects IQ”
“New Study of Obesity
Looks for Larger Test Group”
My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music.
“Vegetarian”: an old Indian word for “doesn’t hunt well.”
How do you go on a Chinese diet?
What is the healthiest kind of water?
Diet: A selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.
What problem do you get from eating too much?
Glutton: One who digs his grave with his teeth.
Magnetism: A powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to
refrigerators.
What kind of people go on diets?
Diet Soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half-pound bag of
peanut M&Ms.
Hippochondriacs: People who worry a lot about their weight.
Overeating: An activity that will make you thick to your stomach.
Tub: What you turn into after you get married and no longer feel the need to
watch your weight.
Salad Dodger: An overweight person.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
I
didn't crawl my way to the top of the food chain just to eat leaves.
Theory that chocolate slows down the aging process...
It's hard to be fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.
Self-delusion: pulling in your stomach when you step on the scale.
What might you win if you lose 150 pounds?
What do you call people who watch other people diet?
What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
What do you call an overweight vampire?
(click on the thumbnail images below to
expand to full size)
Bus Wait Weight
Leg Art
Benchquet
How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man
'Beer On Tap' Bike
Gut Check
Diet Water
Gateway To Obesity
Fish Diet
Subway Dinner
Health Plug
Stuffed Bunny
McDonalds Reaches Africa
High Fiber Diet
How To Cut Down On Your Drinking
Wedding Pound Cake
New Wal-Mart Mirror
Best Diet Ever
Study & research proves that THIS is the Best Diet Ever!
Healthy Breakfast
Fat Friend Prayer
How To Weigh Yourself Correctly
2030 News Flash for the U.S.
5 Steps to a Healthy Diet
A Month After Christmas
A Woman's Prayer
Aerobics Class For Seniors
African Lunch
After-Gas Piggy Bank
Aging
Without Exercise
Airbag Safety
Alcohol Research
Almond Treats For The Bus Driver
Answered Diet Prayer
Anti-Stress Diet For Women
Baby's First Exam
Bachelor Fridge
Beer Diet
'Beer On Tap' Bike
Before 12 Beers
Benchquet
Best Diet Ever
Bread Additive
Bubba's Staple Diet
'Bug Light' Invisible Monsters On Your Desk
Building Your Shoulder Muscles – Secret Weightlifting Program
Bumper Stickers
Burned To A Crisp? You Batard!
Bus Wait Weight
Cake Diet
Cake Glue
Canadian North Cookbook
The Cannibal Test
Cannibalizing The Useful Staff
Celebrate Womanhood!
Cowboy’s Secret to Living a Long Life
Crack Spackle – The First Name in Butt Concealment (2.4M)
Diatribe Facts du Jour
Diet Doctor To The Rescue
Diet Water
Dieter's Night Before Christmas
Doctor'ed Birthday Cake
Duct Tape Diet
Edinburgh Fringe Festival
English Diet
Ethel's Public Appearance: Kettle Calling The Pot Black?
Ever Notice…
Evolution Of Man
Exercise Logic
Fat Burger: #1 #2 #3 #4
Fat Friend Prayer
Fat Twin Sisters: #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8
Fish Diet
Five Stages of a Female's Life
Free Cable Causes Smoking, Drinking & Weight Gain
Future Calorie Testing by Optical Biosensor
Gateway To Obesity
Good Fishing - Innuit Eskimo's Rich Diet (2.4M)
Gut Check
Hairball Essence or Hair Ingestion?
Happy Hour in Saskatchewan
Health Plug
Health Tips for Fat Friends
Healthy Breakfast
Heaven Can Weight
Heavy Training Session
High Fiber Diet
Hillbilly Overalls
Hot Dog Cooker
How Aging Affects Belt Height
How To Cut Down On Your Drinking
How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man
How To Weigh Yourself Correctly
I Love New Recipes
If I Stop Chewing Myself ...
Important Health Information
Italian Pasta Diet
Leg Art
Letters From Camp
Light Eater – Secret to Success
Lineup For Dinner
Lose Weight by Horseback Riding
Lost Dog
Margarine vs. Butter
McDonalds Reaches Africa
Miracle Cosmetics Help Aging Process
Miss Chernobyl 2004
Monthly Man - Sharing PMS (2.0M)
Nemo Found @ Japanese Sushi Bar
New Wal-Mart Mirror
New Year's Resolution: No More Regular Workouts
New Years Resolutions You Can Keep
Newfie Diet
No Additive Diet
Ode To The New Year
One Glass Per Day
Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift
Overweight Patient's Three-Quarter Prescription
The Perfect Weight
Pizza Order in 2010 - Soybean Yogurt Special
Pool Ball Diet – Doctor's Prescription
Prawn Crackers for Repeated Failure
Praying & Preying Mantis
Prunes & Holy Water
Purina Diet
Reasons to Stop Dieting
'Right Your Wrongs' Wash-Away Sins Towelette
Santa Goes On Atkins Diet
Shrinking Patient
Sneaky Dog (1.0M)
Stuffed Bunny
Subway Dinner
Suntan For Weight Loss
Super Size Sundae
Swallowed Cockroach Goes Good With Fork Chaser
Take That – Personal Insults du Jour
Things Go Better With Worms
Thirst Quencher Fridge
Time To Go On A Diet
'Twas The Month After Christmas
Ukrainian Sausage
Ultimate Female Piercing
Veggie Tale
Very Fat Burger
Warning: 3-Bean Chili Lunch Special
Wedding Pound Cake
When You Know It's Time To Lose Some Weight (1.8M)
Why Married Men Gain Weight
Wife's New Coconut and Banana Diet
Wired For Coffee
"Wonder Where They Went" Bra
Words of Wisdom
Yo Mama
Ziploc Omelet
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