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joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!
“A
bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”
“Beauty
is in the eye of the beer holder.”
“Who
said beer won't make you smarter? It made Bud wiser.”
“If you
drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.”
“One
tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
“I'm
not as think as you drunk I am.”
“Our
wines leave you nothing to hope for.”
“Special
cocktails for the ladies with nuts.”
“Ladies
are requested to not have children in the bar.”
“I
drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.”
“I
love to sing and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink
scotch.”
“Drown
in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?”
“I
now touch nothing stronger than buttermilk: 90-proof buttermilk.”
“If
I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.”
“The
cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.”
“Who
took the cork out of my lunch?”
“He
thinks a sanitary belt means drinking booze from a clean glass.”
“He
can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury his liver.”
“The
less teeth the women have, the better the bar.”
“A
hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
“Work
is the curse of the drinking classes.”
“The
first Australian beer was made out of kangaroo hops.”
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap.
Stagger: The shortest distance between two pints.
Stiff Drink: What you get when you mix Viagra with your whiskey.
Port: Fancy wine.
Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings.
What do you call a ballerina who works in a pub?
Drink wet cement and get completely stoned!
I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
Margin: Mother's ruin.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
Im not aging, I'm marinating.
My drinking team has a sailing problem.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
(click on the thumbnail images below to
expand to full size)
Beach Bash

Whiskey Lurks Good

Redneck Chandelier

How Tequila Works

When Pumpkins Drink

Redneck Wine Rack

Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit

Men In Training

Beerful Church

Cheers Beer

Redneck Cooler

Waterfall Drinkers

Baby Brew

2 At A Time

Cup That Runneth Over

Master Reference Binder

Short NFL Quarterbacks

Redneck Dream Homes

Sink Drinker

Winter SOS

Light Christmas Tree

Redneck Christmas Tree

'Beer On Tap' Bike

18 Holes of Golf

Out On A Bender

Swimming Without Getting Your
Hair Wet

Wine Worms

Light Beer House

Senior Protesters

Camouflage Beer Bus

Redneck Porch Hunter

Happy Hour Bike Club

Golden End of the Rainbow

Heineken Meets Star Wars

Firm Grip Glass

Nice Pets

Good To The Last Drop

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Champagne Stick Shift

Canadian Beer Box Computer

Redneck Advent Calendar

Irish Flood

Drunk Dog

New Threat In Iraq

How To Cut Down On Your Drinking

4 Stages Of Life

Light Beer

Reserved for Drunk Drivers

CompuBrew - Beer on Tap

Thirst Quencher Fridge

Canadian Cow: Whole Stein

Redneck Palm Pilot

'Thinking Outside The Box' Puzzles
Find the hidden phrase or word (click on the image for the answer):

1880 Stage Coach Warning to Passengers
18 Holes of Golf
2 At A Time
4 Stages Of Life
401K Plan - Privatizing Social Security
A Head Of His
Time
After Easter Bunny
Aging
Without Exercise
Alberta Winter Fridge
Alcohol
Research
Another
Round For The Wife, Bartender!
Are Ya
Sure I’m Drunk, Officer?
Armless Man's Assistant
Aunt From
Desert Storm
Aussie
Definition of 'Lucky'
Aussie Gentleman
Aussie
Whine: Best Served With Humble Pie
Australian Ghost Story
Baby Brew
Baby’s First Big Bottle
Bachelor Fridge
Bar Brain - Playing Head Games
Bar Healing
Bar-gain
Affairs
Barcode for a Lifetime of
Laughter!
Bathroom Thigns
B.C. Beer Drinkers
Beach Bash

Bear’s Bud Light
Bedworthy Bartender
Beer Bottle Orchestra
(2.1M)
Beer Besting
Beer
Diet
Beer Drinking Through Your Nose
(2.0M)
Beer Nuts vs. Deer Nuts
'Beer On Tap' Bike
The Beer Prayer
Beerful Church
Before 12 Beers
Beware of Black Tarmac
Bible Bar
Bier Making Oudfit -
Balancin Schtatement
The Blame Game
Blessings From The Pope
Blonde Drinker
Bottle Guys
Bottomless Mug
Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time!
Bring Me A Beer
(1.4M)
Bring
Me A Martinus
Bud Bird - Where Does He Get It? (1.9M)
Bud Found or Bud Missing - the Neighbour's Motherlode! (2.6M)
Bud Light Beer Bunker
(1.6M)
Bud Light Bot (1.1M)
Bud Light Dog (2.5M)
Bud Light's Fresh Frank Monkey (510k)
The Buffalo Theory
Camouflage Beer Bus
Can Art
Canadian Beer Box Computer
Canadian Christmas Tree, eh!
Canadian Cow: Whole Stein
Canadian Knowledge Quiz - How Well Do You Know Canada?
Canadian Wife
Career Path Decisions
Caress-Her
Chair Skiing - Redneck Water Sport
Champagne Stick Shift
Changing Hotel Rooms
Cheers Beer
Cheap Wine
Market
Choice Airlines
'Choose A Urinal' Challenge!
Christmas Cake Recipe
Cleaning Gutters With Your Friends
(2.4M)
CompuBrew - Beer on Tap
Conch Crab Special to Attract Beach Babes (840k)
Corvette Tests to Raise The Bar
Crocodile Fans
Cuckoo Clock
Cup That Runneth Over
Danger
Alert For Men
The Dangers of Veranda Smoking (1.8M)
The Days of Our Lives: From Anticipation To Recuperation
Definition Of A Smart Ass
Deformed Spider Webs - “Toxicity Testers”
Designated Driver
Diatribe Joe-ks 4U
Dinnae Kin, Jock
Don't Drink And Climb
Don't Drink And Drive @ Starbucks
Don't Make Me Do It
Don't Touch My Beer (1.3M)
Drink, Don't Drive!
Drink That Refreshes
Drinkers Fault-Finding Guide
Drunk Dog
Drunk Pumpkin
Efficient Micro-Surgeons
Eight Words with Male & Female Meanings
Electronic Non-Translator
Elephant Blues
Elephant Sale in a Bargain Market
Embarrassing Problem
Executive Management Sharp Shooter
Fairground Food
Fake Steaming Coffee Cup for Office Escapes (1.4M)
Farmer's Daughter
(2.6M)
Fast Turtle
Feeling
Inebriated?
Fiddle Duet (3.9M)

Final Product
Firm Grip Glass
First Major Change by German Pope
First
Proctologist Exam
Flying Cathedral Excuse
Font Drinks @ The Bar
Free Cable
Causes Smoking, Drinking & Weight Gain
French Connection United Kingdom T-Shirt
Friends Don't Let Good Friends Drive Drunk
George Burns Quotes
George Carlin Quotes
Gifts For The Teacher
Glacier Sasquatch Protectors - Dare to Dream! (7.2M
- Long Load!)
Glassway or the Highway?
Going For Gold
Going Nowhere in Ireland
Golden End of the Rainbow
Good To The Last Drop
Got Any Gwapes?
Graphic Auto Accident
Great Pub Trick
Groucho Marx Quotes
Growling Reggae Hairdo for 'No Pet' Bar Access (2.3M)
Guess The Beer!
Guinness Record
Happy Hour Bike Club
Happy
Hour in Saskatchewan
Head Games
Health Canada Warning - BARS Syndrome
Heineken Meets Star Wars
Hell's Angels Drinkers
Henny Youngman Quotes
High Octane Hooch
Hillbilly Overalls
Holiday Fruit Cake
Homer Song
House Maid For Men
How Tequila Works

How To
Achieve Inner Peace
How To Cook Turkey
How To Cut Down On Your Drinking
I Am Canadian, eh! (5.1M)
I Need A Cold One Tonight ...
Instant
Beer Refills - For Those Who Can't Wait
Irish Virgin
Irishman’s Quiet Passenger
Jet Fuel Drink
Jethro's Almost Inheritance
Johnny Unitas & the Cannibal
Karate Chop
Last Call For Heaven
Late Advice
Lemon Drops
Light Beer
Light Beer House
Light Christmas Tree
Male Birth
Control
Male Cat (330k)
Man Centre Fridge
Master Reference Binder
Men In Training
Monkey On Cue
Moonshine Analysis
Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer - Real Men of Genius (900k)
My Dream Home (1.6M)
Nasty Poison
Need A Cigarette?
Never Drink
Out Of The Same Glass
New Orleans Party Barge
New Threat In Iraq
New Wine For Seniors - Anti-Diuretic Hybrid Grape?
Newfie's Favourite
Cold-Beer Cooler
Newfie Fly Groaner – Right On Cue
Newfie Happy Hour
Nice Pets
No Pets Allowed
No-Return Empire State Building Jumper
Norvegian Groaners
Nothing To Correct on New Year’s Day
Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence
Notorious Drunk
Nun Chairs – Great Looking Legs!
Osama bin
Workin
Office Refresher - Every Office
Needs This
Olive Her
'One Drink A Day' Schedule
One Glass Per Day
Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift
Oscar Wilde Quotes
Ostrich Genie
Out On A Bender
Panda Bar
Passing the Bar Exam to Join The Club
Pickup A Blonde For The Boss (480k)
Pickup Lines: #1
#2 #3
Pirate Battles
Pirate's Steering Wheel
Poker Hands
Polar Bear New Years
Police Assistant
Pour Waitress
(1.2M)
Power Outage: Don't Drink And Climb
Power Tool Buddies
Precious Cow for
Dying Mother
Premiers Choice
Pressure Warning - Don’t Mix Beer With Viagra
Priceless Breakfast After A Long Night
PRICELESS
Trip to the ATM Machine
Public Bar
Notice
Put a
Bali Cork In It
Quick Wedding
(1.5M)
Redneck Advent Calendar
Redneck Beer Drinker
(420k)
Redneck Birthday Cake
Redneck Chandelier

Redneck Christmas
Tree
Redneck Cooler
Redneck Dog Carrier
Redneck Deer
Beer Hunter
Redneck Cat
Carrier
Redneck Dream Homes
Redneck Engagement Ring
Redneck's Favourite Bar Stool
Redneck Fence
Redneck's Flight Refund
Redneck Horse Sense
Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit
Redneck Ice Fishing
Redneck Meal On Wheels
Redneck Measuring Tape
Redneck Palm Pilot
Redneck Piggy Bank
Redneck Porch Hunter
Redneck Romantic Evening Plans
Redneck Salutes the EhThens 2004 Olympics!
Redneck
Sanitary Belt
Redneck TV Antenna
Redneck Wind Chimes
Redneck Wine Rack
Reserved for Drunk Drivers
Restroom Thigns
Retired Golf Pros
Roadside
Tragedy Turns Everyone Blue :-(
Robo Bash by Bud Light - No Mercy (900k)
Rodney Dangerfield Joe-ks
Romantic Hay Ride (2.2M)
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Rude Awakening
Saskatchewan Wind Chimes
Scottish DUI Test (900k)
"Screeched In" Newfoundland
Secret For A Long, Happy Life - Her Story
Self Defense is 90% Instinct (1.7M)
Senior Protesters
Senior Road
Rage
Serious Pipe Smoker
Sermon On Alcohol
Ship’s Log Book
Short Memory? Give Him A Push, Will Ya!
Short NFL Quarterbacks
Silence Is Golden
Signs Of The Times
Signs That You Are Too Drunk
Sink Drinker
Skoda Limousine
Slammed Grinch
Snowball Fight - Horsing Around (2.5M)
Soccer Squirrel
(1.8M)
Stray Bar
Stroke
Study
Struggling Wife
Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet
Take That – Personal Insults du Jour
Talking Beer Nuts
Talking
Clock
Teddy Bear Passion
Terrible Lickin’ @ the Belfast Pub
Thanks For The Schnapps!
Thirst Quencher Fridge
Thirsty Sandwich
This
Drink's On Me
Thoughts On
Everything
Time To Pull The Plug?
Tonto's Horse Coolant
Trouble Brewing, Guys...
Typical Canadian Baby Boy
Typical Males (770/630k)

Unbeerievable Nuns
Vampire
Drinks
Vat Drowning
Walmart's Redneck Wine
Wanna Buy A Vowel?
Warning:
Beer Contains Female Hormones
Warning For Men: Liquid Drug Abuse
Waterfall Drinkers
WC Fields Quotes
What A Coincidence
What A Romantic! (2.1M)
What's He Going To Be?
When A
Canadian Guy Plans The Wedding!
When Pumpkins Drink
When You Don't Offer A Pepsi - No Grazi 4U! (2.5M)
When You Know It's Time To Quit Smoking
Whiskey Lurks Good

Who Wears The Pants?
Why I Didn't Show Up For Work
Why Men
Shouldn't Take Messages
Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink
Beer
Wine Worms
Winter SOS
World Record Challenge
World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Worst Day Of My Life
Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle
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