Ukrainian Perogies

When you can hardly wait for your next plate of perogies


An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”


QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


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20-Oct-2019