I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK,
I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I
notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be
paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?
Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the
window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and
there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the
cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the
sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control...
And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I
KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor
Aging & Medical Sections
A. A. A. D. D.
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Dreams Come True
Topless Kate Middleton
Manmade Beach in Japan
Lego Key Holder
Fork Door Handle
Making Hockey More Popular
Stealth Cell Phone Tower
Holes of the World
Australian Wildfire Survivor