Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

What is bought is cheaper than a gift. - Portuguese Proverb

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. - Morell

I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am. - Paula Abdul

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made. - Sarah Weeks

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - George S Patton

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. - Leo Buscaglia

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

The older one gets, the more one feels that the present must be enjoyed; it is a precious gift, comparable to a state of grace. - Marie Curie

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
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My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Last Photo I Took
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
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18-Sep-2019