Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Unknown

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. - Jim Rohn

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. - Johnny Carson

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Last Photo I Took
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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23-Apr-2019