Canucks Sign Iraqi Center
Replacement arrives as Canucks head for Stanley Cup

Vancouver Canucks coach Marc Crawford sends scouts out round the World looking for a new center to replace Marcus Nasland – to hopefully win Vancouver the Stanley Cup. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi center who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So Crawford flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed. He arranges for the Iraqi to come over to Vancouver’s G.M Place.

Two weeks later Vancouver are 4-0 down at home to Montreal with only 8 minutes left. Crawford gives the young Iraqi center the nod to go on and he puts him on in place of Naslund. The lad is a sensation, scoring 5 goals in 8 minutes and wins the game for Vancouver. The fans are delighted… the players and coaches are delighted… and the media love the new star.

When he comes off the ice he phones his Mom to tell her about his first day in the NHL.
“Hi Mom, guess what?” he says. “I played for 8 minutes today. We were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me - the fans, the players, the media - they all love me!”

“Great,” says his Mom, “let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of crack addicts – all while you were having a great time!”

The young lad is very upset. “What can I say Mom - I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry!” says his Mom. “It’s your damned fault that we moved to Surrey in the first place!”


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26-May-2019