You Can’t Fix Stupid

Sedation for the nation





QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker


see also   Dubm,  Medical  &  Nurse  Sections
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22-May-2018