You Can’t Fix Stupid

Sedation for the nation





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Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


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11-Dec-2017