White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. - Robert Frost

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Winning depends on where you put your priorities. It's usually best to put them over the fence. - Jason Giambi

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
Contractor Bids  (pre 2001)

 

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17-Jun-2018