White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

The only fence against the world is a thorough knowledge of it. - John Locke

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

Hope is the anchor of the soul, the stimulus to action, and the incentive to achievement. - Unknown

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
Contractor Bids  (pre 2001)

 

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21-Sep-2018