White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Hope is the anchor of the soul, the stimulus to action, and the incentive to achievement. - Unknown

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Winning depends on where you put your priorities. It's usually best to put them over the fence. - Jason Giambi

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
Contractor Bids  (pre 2001)

 

Driftwood Lion

Frost Flower

Where is Waldo?

Frigid Florida

Texas Cobra Boots

Autumn Download

Read The Fine Print

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

It's All About Attitude

Sauna Bar

The Importance Of Education

My Last Swim In The Ocean

Dog Tired After Work

Hammock Wine

Parenting Skills

Property Boundary

Tree Nurture

Beer Floating

Police Targeting

Hard Hat Safety

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19-Nov-2018