White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

I don't go around signin' no political documentaries. - Archie Bunker

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

Winning depends on where you put your priorities. It's usually best to put them over the fence. - Jason Giambi

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
Contractor Bids  (pre 2001)

 

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18-Feb-2018