Party In Hell

Beware of what’s on the menu

Preparing for Sunday’s service





QuotaBills
What has God wrought? - Samuel Morse

God bless us every one! - Tiny Tim

God gave burdens, also shoulders. - Yiddish Proverb

Trust in God - but tie your camel tight. - Persian Proverb

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist. - Albert Camus

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

My reason nourishes my faith and my faith my reason. - Norman Cousins

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

The day before me is fraught with God knows what horrors. - John Kennedy Toole

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

I am inclined to believe that this is the land God gave to Cain. - Jacques Cartier

If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise. - Johann von Goethe

I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one. - Dag Hammarskjold

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. - Matthew 21:22

Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking. - R Buckminster Fuller

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically. - Albert Einstein

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

God puts you on the runway and takes you off the runway. What you do on the runway is up to you. - Unknown

Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller

There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid. - Frederick W. Cropp

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea! How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea. - Sydney Smith

In hell there is no other punishment than to begin over and over again the tasks left unfinished in your lifetime. - Andre Gide

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments. - Zig Ziglar

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

There is not greater reward in our profession than the knowledge that God has entrusted us with the physical care of his people. - Dr. Elmer Hess


see also   Religious  &  Sign  Sections
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Biblical Humour
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Devil Sky
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
God is Impartial
Judas Asparagus
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses’ USB Tablets
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Prayer Conditioning
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Uplifting Church
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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13-Dec-2017