Father Load

Father of the Year

A little prevention goes a long way


A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?”

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”


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No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Every child begins the world again. - Henry David Thoreau

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

When I was a child, nobody died; but now it happens all the time. - Unknown

I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young. - Donald Trump

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much. - Marian W. Edelman

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama


see also   Family  &  Kids  Sections
 

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21-Jun-2018