Father Load

Father of the Year

A little prevention goes a long way


A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?”

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”


QuotaBills
Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

When I was a child, nobody died; but now it happens all the time. - Unknown

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter


see also   Family  &  Kids  Sections
 

Beetle's Beetle

Walmart Hunting Section

Blind (Braille) Sudoku Puzzles B

British Hairways

Just Hug Me

Sun Skin Tone

Lamp Escape

Road Hugging Tire

CensorShip

Slamming On Your Brakes

Island Music

Johnny Cochran's Last Words to O.J.

Arch Rockery

Tractor Pull

Custer's Last Stand?

Fire Destroyed

Sudoku Sampler C

How To Improve Your Car's Radio Reception

Sometimes Dads Are Wet For Work

North of Somewhere
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

28-Jun-2017