Chicken Literacy

Beware of chickens in public libraries


A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, “Buk Buk BUK.”
The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says, “Buk Buk BuKKOOK!”
The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, “Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!”

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what’s happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog kept repeating, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit...”


QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground. - African Proverb

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library. - Jorge Luis Borges

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Curb your fretting, tadpole, or the frog of your future will fail to croak. - Paul Collins

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

When I step into this library, I cannot understand why I ever step out of it. - Marie de Sevigne

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed - and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet. - Robertson Davies

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


see also   Animal,  Language  &  Pun  Sections
Big Bird Feeder
Chicken Farm Wedding
Chicken Photobomb
Chicken Pie
Chicken Rider
Chicken Shoes
Chicken Wire Art
Comfortable Chicken
Fast Beach Chicken
Free Chicken Strips
High Wire Bear Feeder
How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man
Hummingbird Feeder
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Polish Chicken Farm
Redneck Bird Feeder
Redneck Chicken Farmer
Things That Taste Like Chicken

 

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22-Mar-2019