Chicken Literacy

Beware of chickens in public libraries


A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, “Buk Buk BUK.”
The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says, “Buk Buk BuKKOOK!”
The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, “Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!”

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what’s happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog kept repeating, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit...”


QuotaBills
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

Curb your fretting, tadpole, or the frog of your future will fail to croak. - Paul Collins

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


see also   Animal,  Language  &  Pun  Sections
Big Bird Feeder
Chicken Farm Wedding
Chicken Photobomb
Chicken Pie
Chicken Rider
Chicken Shoes
Chicken Wire Art
Comfortable Chicken
Fast Beach Chicken
Free Chicken Strips
High Wire Bear Feeder
How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man
Hummingbird Feeder
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Polish Chicken Farm
Redneck Bird Feeder
Redneck Chicken Farmer
Things That Taste Like Chicken

 

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22-Sep-2018