Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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18-Sep-2019