Car Rest Stop

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I'll sleep when I'm dead. - Warren Zevon

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. - Evan Davis

Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. - JoJo Jenson

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Dilemma of a student: Should I finish my homework or sleep? - Unknown

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

If you get a reputation as an early riser, you can sleep till noon. - Irish Proverb

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizner

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. - Mahatma Gandhi

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

A great many people, and more all the time, live their entire lives without ever once sleeping out under the stars. - Alan S. Kesselheim

A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day, he can sleep at night and do it again the next day. - Albert Schweitzer

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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21-Apr-2018