Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

The greatest remedy for anger is delay. - Seneca

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Concern for someone else was a good remedy for taking the mind off one's own troubles. - Elizabeth Aston

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
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25-May-2019