Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Don't find fault, find a remedy. - Henry Ford

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

Nothing is more despicable than a professional talker who uses his words as a quack uses his remedies. - Francois Fenelon

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
Working Past 65

 

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22-Sep-2019