Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

The greatest remedy for anger is delay. - Seneca

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Concern for someone else was a good remedy for taking the mind off one's own troubles. - Elizabeth Aston

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
Working Past 65

 

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12-Nov-2019