Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. - Jacqueline Schiff

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Concern for someone else was a good remedy for taking the mind off one's own troubles. - Elizabeth Aston

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
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Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
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17-Jul-2019