Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
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20-Aug-2019 |