Irish Alzheimers

Making atonement for a broken commandment



Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”

Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”

Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”

Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”



QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle


see also   Nationality  &  Religious  Sections
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23-Apr-2019