Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

The equation of religion with belief is rather recent. - Arnold J. Toynbee

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

He's a well-balanced individual - he has a chip on each shoulder. - Unknown

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

I think it's my adventure, my trip, my journey, and I guess my attitude is, let the chips fall where they may. - Leonard Nimoy

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
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21-Aug-2017