Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

The equation of religion with belief is rather recent. - Arnold J. Toynbee

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

I think it's my adventure, my trip, my journey, and I guess my attitude is, let the chips fall where they may. - Leonard Nimoy

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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27-Jun-2017