Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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13-Dec-2017